Rickmansworth & Isambard Cricket Club

One of the joys of playing for a journeyman team like Isambard is to see a group of individuals eschew the opportunity of doing anything the simple way, in favour of a much more entertaining and outlandish manner. Which is good for the entertainment value, if nothing else.

So it was on our journey to play Southgate Adelaide. Skipper Matt won the toss and does what any bowling captain does when faced with a flat pitch, quick outfield and sunny afternoon "“ announced he was promoting himself up the batting order. Oh, and decided to bat. Regular opener Sir Rich was running late... again... he was late the last time we played at Southgate as well, and last match. Rumour has it that Sunday morning is business morning, 'cause everything is just right conditions are perfect. No wonder he always looks tired.

Debutante Fraser Matthews strolled out to bat with Mackey against a gentle attack. After a solid opening stand of 20 odd, Fraser became the first of many Isambard batsmen to eschew the opportunity of easy 1's and 2's, nudging the ball into the gaps, in favour of something much more flamboyant. In his case it was an attempt to loft a checked drive over mid-off. Codling was next man in, having met news of his promotion to #3 with "what? Are you sure?" 14 runs later he was out, charging down the wicket playing a savage cover drive, but unfortunately neglecting to make contact with the ball and being stumped by 6 yards. Mackey & Roxy steadied the ship somewhat with Mackey rotating the strike while Roxy took some time to find the middle of the bat, eventually bringing up his 50 with a hoik over the sightscreen at square leg (where else would it be?). They both perished soon after playing shots above their station for 28 & 68 respectively, bringing the "beauty and the beast" partnership of Skipper & Sir Rich to the crease. With overs running out they upped the tempo courtesy of some beautiful cover driven 4's and some beastly cow-shots for 6, before Sir Rich was out stumped for 20, followed in the same over by Paul Gregan and James Dean, which left the bowler, who was a dead ringer for Rolf Harris, with his 50^th career 5-for. Tie me kangaroo down sport.  Skipper kept the carnage going, ending up on a brutal 63* (his first Isambard 50), and with able all be it surprising support (well , he surprised himself anyway) from Alex Robinson at the other end, the runs piled on in the closing overs leaving us on what we thought was a mammoth 7-239 off our 40 overs.

Following yet another sumptuous tea we somewhat reluctantly entered the field, hoping for a quick kill so we could get on with demolishing the bar stocks. Ollie Reed & Alex Robinson were entrusted with the new ball and did a fine job of keeping the batsman quiet, although funnily enough not the scoreboard. After 5 overs Southgate had marched on to 0-31, with the batsman having contributed 11 of these. I've never understood the phrase "spending money like a man with no hands". However I've now seen in action the phrase "keeping like a man with no hands", because that's what Sir Rich looked like in the early exchanges, before working out what the mitts were for, after which he was near faultless. It was a bit of a slow day in the field "“ Southgate were happy to potter along below the required rate, but didn't lose many wickets along the way. At the halfway point they were 2-90, with the highlight for us being the dismissal of Brian Labrooy (surely pronounced Brie-heee-nee), a 76 year old who apparently has played for Sri Lanka, to a smooth leg side catch by Sir Rich of the bowling of Osama.

To be fair to Southgate it wasn't as if they were deliberately keeping wickets intact. We dropped somewhere in the order of a dozen catches "“ some quite hard, a few sitters, which caused the aforementioned Rolf Harris to quip "your side couldn't catch AIDS if they had a 3-some with Elton John and Freddy Mercury!" Talented bloke is Rolf. There were some highlights. Debutante Fraser snared a rip-snorter diving full length at square leg as well as a slick run out off his own bowling, and Ollie's effort of controlling a meaty and unevenly bouncing drive at long off with his left, then hoofing it 20 metres along the fence before picking it up and returning it over the bails drew audible gasps of wonder from the crowd (both of them). With the required rate approaching double figures, Skipper brought himself and Roxy on to claim a few cheap wickets (that's the benefit of experience), which they did. Skipper finished with 2-13 off 7 overs, whilst Roxy snared 3-15 off 5. With the sun growing low on the horizon things finally wound up with Southgate on 8-190.

There was much to celebrate "“ Skipper's first win & first 50, Roxy's 50^th wicket for Isambard, so the boys headed to the bar for some jug therapy. Complaints over the temperature of the beer didn't seem to slow the consumption at all. If its any consolation Ray Bright, former Australian left arm spinner, apparently complained about the same thing and used to drink his pints laden with ice when he played for Southgate Adelaide back in the 80's, so its good to know they take feedback on board.

The good news is we've been invited back, as long as we promise to continue downing as many catches as we do pints. Can't see that being a problem.

Roxy