Rickmansworth & Isambard Cricket Club

As Isambard's finest arrived at the home ground of Ruislip, in the far north-west of London, all thoughts were on which pub we'd spend the afternoon in slowly getting inebriated and discussing the glory of the English summer. It had been pissing down all night, and as the Ruislip ground had no covers there was surely no chance of play. An early inspection of the wicket, which even the most amateur of pitch reporters would have declared sported a bit of moisture under the surface, and a shedload more above, seemed to confirm our wasted journey. However the oppo were gung-ho, and unconcerned about the prospect of turning their wicket into a mud-wrestling pit, so it was game on. Captain Mat won the toss and batted "“ the rationale being at least we'd get a hit before it chucked down and we'd all have to go home.Nathan Mackey wandered out to open the batting nervously wielding his new bat, unsure of whether when leather and willow collided the blade would be battle-ready. In the event he needn't have been concerned, as a spell of unplayable leg-cutters and in-swingers left him feeling like the blind man in a dark room looking for the black cat that wasn't there. At the other end, James Dean promoted to open took to it like a fish to water. "He's only got one shot" spat the angry fast bowler as James slapped him through cow corner. Correct weight "“ so why did the bowler deliver the next ball in the same place, for the same result?

That left the innings looking rather sick at 61-6 in the 22^nd over. Kim-Meg continued on his merry way "“ a lofted off-drive for the maximum bringing sighs of orgasmic pleasure from the crowd, and the support finally arrived in the form of Nath umpiring, turning down a couple of rather close LBW appeals against an out-of-sorts and possibly semi-inebriated Roxy.

When Kim-Meg departed the ball after bringing up a superb 50, Roxy decided to open up and started swinging at everything, hitting one ball out of the ground, over a road and into a car park. He too perished the ball after raising 50, and shortly after the innings came to a close with the total of 155 on the board.

Tea was forgettable, apart from the fact that it pissed down again and we all got ready to go home. Except Ruislip decided that we could play on a ground that looked more like a rice paddy, so with muted enthusiasm out we went. Debutante Jaime Catala (pronounced Hy-mee) opened the bowling, surely Spain's fastest bowler. "Well bowled H" shouted captain Lindsay after another ball seamed away to beat the outside edge. When it was pointed out that his name was spelt with a J and that it's the Spanish pronunciation that sounds like H, he replied "Well, if he was Australian his name would begin with an H". We're nothing if not culturally sensitive.  Jaime snared the first wicket, caught behind to an edge that neither the wicketkeeper, bowler, umpire or anybody else heard. The batsman just walked off, having decided presumably that he had better things to do than slap us around the park. At the other end skipper Lindsay bowled without luck, having a couple of catches shelled by our normally reliable slips cordon (insert sarcastic tones). That and the impossibility of bowling in rubbers (shoes that is) led to a general darkening of his mood, which matched the darkening of the clouds overhead.

Unfortunately no-one else was able to match James' ingenuity, and despite some raucous LBW shouts from fill in player Gilette (apparently his brother was umpiring, but there were no family favours), wickets refused to fall. Eventually Roxy, always on the lookout for cheap scalps, snared their opener and followed it up with another to tighten things up.  However, it was too little too late as Ruislip chased the total down in the final over with four wickets in hand.

All in all, it was a good tight match. Last year we beat Ruislip by one wicket, this year they reversed it but only by four balls. Maybe this could be the start of a healthy rivalry.